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As “Porn Loser” girls go, Tori is as horny as they come. The amazing part is that she stays horny throughout the scene, even when the Loser is fucking her. Even when he has to interrupt her doggie-style pussy poking to adjust one of the cameras, leaving her without a cock in her cunt and us with, thankfully, a view of her ass, pussy and asshole, courtesy of a secondary camera.
Tori is 5′5”, 128 pounds of fun from Minnesota (she’s now living in Los Angeles). She has green eyes, brown hair, measures 34-28-36 and smiles and giggles a lot, especially when she’s talking about sex. We’ve rarely seen a girl this enthusiastic, especially prior to her first scene.
“I always have these crazy ideas about sex, and I masturbate like crazy,” she tells us. “I’m really sexually open.”
We find out how wild and crazy she is even before she goes down on the Loser’s cock. Even the way Tori takes off her top and skirt seems to scream, “Fuck me,” as she squats on the floor, as if she were waiting for the Loser to bring over his cock. He doesn’t, but she goes on with her striptease, doing more stripping than teasing.
“I want to make you real hard,” she says.
That’s easier said than done with the Loser, who doesn’t respond the way 99.9% of the hetero male world would as Tori proceeds to give him a great blow job: hands-free, deep into the mouth, making smacking noises when the cock leaves her mouth, asking,”Do you like that?” Licking and slurping up and down on his cock, making humming noises, licking his balls. Finally, the Loser responds, but just when she’s got some good wood to suck, he invites her to jump on top of his cock, something he never does.
“Do you like my pussy?” Tori asks.
The camera fuck-up happens a few minutes later, but by that point, we’re so turned-on by Tori that we forget who’s fucking her. Oh, yeah. The Loser. Ya had to remind us?
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With a hot tutor like Lina Sweet, the only thing you’ll be able to study are her tiny tits and tight ass. If you do learn anything, it’s that she’s a virgin who’s looking to put a few notches on her belt. But don’t let Lina’s limited experience fool you. Once she decides to take the plunge with this guy, she uses everything she’s learned from watching pornos to give him the best lay she can. She sucks his cock like a slut pro and fucks him till the sweet, creamy end.
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A little over a minute into this video, Gem takes off her top and skirt, revealing a super-tight, super-curvy body in a black bra and sexy matching panties. At this point, a normal man would express some admiration for Gem–or as the Loser always refers to it, “what we’re working with here.” But not the Loser, who doesn’t say a word, leaving Gem to stand there awkwardly, waiting for some glimmer of approval. Finally, when Gem has all of her clothes off, the Loser says, “Awesome. Great body. Very hot.” But it seems like too little, too late, especially for a hot piece of ass like Gem.
A few basic facts about Gem. She’s from England. She’s 21 years old. This is her first scene. She’s 165 centimeters tall and weights 54 kilos. That’s 5′4”, 119 pounds for those of you in the United States side of the pond. She’s a little girl, but she apparently has a big mouth because she practically throats the Loser, which might not be saying much but is definitely saying something. A nice added touch is how Gem sucks the Loser’s rod through his boxers. This girl definitely has a future.
The Loser clearly has no future as a porn director or videographer, as this scene clearly proves. He sets back the art of P.O.V. Videography two-dozen years with some camera work that takes us right out of the action or too close to the action. But, as usual, there’s enough here to keep us jacking. The blow job scene. The way Gem looks at the camera. Her shaved pussy, which really deserves better. But, hey, this is amateur stuff, right? And if we wanted pro-amateur porn, there’s plenty of that out there. So, the Loser gets the job done, the girl gets laid and has a scene to add to her resume and we get off. So who’s complaining?
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Welcome back to PornLoser.com, home of the only man in the world who can have a beautiful, young woman say to him, “I’m a nympho,” and not ask for details. The nympho in question is Kelsey Michaels, an 18-year-old, 5′3”, 105-pound brunette from Nashville, Tennessee. In what ways is she a nympho? What are some of her nympho adventures? If you brush up against her, will her pussy start juicing? We don’t get the answers to any of those questions because the Loser doesn’t bother asking them.
There are many things we can say about Kelsey. She’s sexy, horny, has a beautiful body and can really suck a cock.
There’s one thing we can say about the Loser: He got a new couch. And it’s a beauty!
This time, let’s focus a little more on the girl and a little less on the Loser. First off, Kelsey is a flattie, and a lot of guys like that. Like we said, she’s a very good cock sucker, and she does nice things with her lips during the deep-sucking motion, stuff that cushions the cock shaft during the up and down motion. Seems that at the young age of 18, she’s already learned to keep her teeth out of the way, which is something that’s hard for guys to imagine doing (considering that teeth are, in most cases, attached to the rest of the mouth). She moans sweetly while she’s riding the Loser’s cock, and we’re just kinda waiting for her to start screaming in her nympho way, but then we remember, “She’s only 18.” Her fuck shoes are a nice addition to the package, and the Loser is smart enough to have her keep them on throughout the scene. Or maybe he didn’t realize she was wearing them. Finally, her ass looks shapely and fuckable in all positions.
One more thing about Kelsey: She seems to be totally unaware of the cameras. That’s a good thing because in this scene, we really get the feeling that we’re eavesdropping on two people having sex.
Kelsey really starts getting into it near the end, and the Loser puts in one of his better performances, even fucking her hard in the piledriver position before shooting his load. Overall, a good show.
Kelsey 5′3”, 105 pounds brown eyes, brown hair, 18 years old from nashville, tennessee; cute voice; “Actually, I’m a nympho.” Follow-up question?
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The little wall decorations behind Elizabeth James read, “Laugh,” “Believe” and “Love.” They should read, “Great Ass,” “Nice Tits” and “Fuck A Lot.” Elizabeth, a 23-year-old insurance office clerk who’s originally from Iowa, has a great ass, nice tits and fucks a lot. She tells us she likes a man who takes control, so if you’re going to be reduced to a quivering mess when confronted with Elizabeth’s body, give it up. The guy in this scene doesn’t have that problem, so Elizabeth’s first fuck for the NaughtyMag.com cameras turns out fine. Great, even. We have another wall sign for you: “Jack.”
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The Porn Loser is proud to present a barely-legal, 18-year-old California girl with measurements of 34-24-34 and an eagerness to fuck that’s unmatched by most women twice her age. She’s a brunette with a tight, cute body, nice, firm tits and a shaved pussy. She’s wearing black, sexy, lace tights and a pink lingerie top. This girl is a winner.
The Loser? He’s just a loser. As usual, he has a hard time getting it up, and Kandi has to work real hard–harder than any 18-year-old hottie should have to work–to get him hard. But she does because she wants his dick.
In this scene, it’s hard to tell who’s the inexperienced 18-year-old. The lighting? Garbage. The pre-fuck interview? Loser doesn’t know what to ask her. The camerawork is shaky even by Porn Loser standards. Half the time, her head is cropped off when she’s riding his cock. But don’t worry, fellas: The Loser’s legs and feet are fully in the frame.
As usual, the girl saves the day with some ferocious fucking that makes you realize, “This girl’s got a future, as long as it involves sex.” Kandi’s pussy squishes oh-so-nicely when the Loser is fucking her, and fortunately, his on-camera mic picks it up. Of course, the camera picks up lots of other things, too, such as the other cameras in the room, but teenage Kandi seems to be able to put all of those things out of her mind.
“Oh, I’m gonna cum!” she screams.
“Oh, fuck me!” she begs.
There’s no substitute for youth.
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One of the best things that can be said about the Loser is he’s not cheap. Unlike most Ordinary Joes who can afford only one camera, the Loser works with at least three, maybe four. So he’s a well-financed loser. Good thing, too, because among our video editor’s notes regarding the raw footage of this video included these gems: “Blow job. We don’t see much at first as he is soft.” “Blow job. All we get to see is her back.” “Cum shot on the face but he blocks most of the shot. We only see her chin being cum on.” So, quantity makes up for lack of quality, and when you add it all up, the Loser’s videos are jackable. Especially when the babe being fucked is Adriana, a tiny blonde (just 98 pounds) from Phoenix, Arizona. In all fairness, the Loser does some good things in this scene, like keeping the camera steady during the pre-fuck interview (something he almost never does) and giving us some nice looks at her fine ass clad in tight jeans.
But losers will be losers, and the Loser is a loser. A smooth talker he’s not. The guy seems to have no idea what to ask Adriana during the interview, stumbling over his words. Then, when she’s chowing down on his hard-on, what happens? Dogs start barking in the background. And what the hell is he trying to shoot when she’s riding him reverse-cowgirl and he has the camera high up in the air, pointed down?
There are plenty of good moments, though, most of them provided by sexy, slutty Adriana who moans, “Oh, baby, it feels so good. Fuck me! Fuck me!” as her tight little pussy gets plowed. A compliment for the Loser? Or is Adriana simply being nice?
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Karina, a 24-year-old casino worker from Las Vegas, Nevada, wants to join the Mile High Club one day, so fucking way up in a skyrise seemed like a good place to practice. Although, as Karina says, “I’ll fuck just about anywhere as long as the guy turns me on and has a hard dick. I’m pretty easy.” That’s what we love to hear! A hot chick who doesn’t guard her pussy like it’s the crown jewels. She gives it up freely, and why? “Because most girls love to fuck as much as guys love to fuck. They’ll just never tell you that.” But why? Why must we play games? Why must we hide behind the bullshit? Can’t we all just get along?
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The Loser spends the first portion of this scene trying to convince Chelsie that she should be nervous and that everyone she’s ever known in her entire life is going to find out about this. He seems to be trying to talk her out of doing the scene, which is amazing considering she’s one hot piece of ass–beautiful face, tight body, blonde hair, green eyes–and he paid her only $800.
Yeah, you read that right! $800! A chick like Chelsie should’ve added a few zeroes onto that to let a guy like the Loser fuck her.
“What makes you think you can do this?” the Loser asks her.
What makes the Loser think he can do this when we have hard proof that he can’t?
So, after the Loser fails to convince Chelsie that she shouldn’t take the money and shouldn’t do the scene, she gets down on her knees and gives him a very enthusiastic blow job. And the rest is history.
As the scene continues and the Loser manages to pound Chelsie with his reasonably hard cock, we are left to ponder the big questions of life: What won’t some chicks do to get into porn? How lucky are we to live in a world in which hot chicks will let total losers fuck them? And, isn’t the pussy a wonderful thing?
Loser finishes fucking her and cums on Chelsie’s face. All for $800. Bargain.
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Ashley is so little that she makes the Loser’s cock look huge. Now that’s little! Her mouth is so small that she’s barely able to wrap her lips around his tool, She makes him look like John Holmes! In our opinion, at this point, the Loser should’ve shut down the camera and asked her to marry him.
Of course, she would’ve said no. Ashley is young (just 18). She’s sexy. She’s beautiful. She’s definitely not desperate. She’s saving up for college, and if fucking and sucking the Loser is the best way for her to pay her tuition, we’re all for it.
By the way, she’s from North Dakota, and we can’t remember the last time we heard of a porn starlet coming from North Dakota. The Loser might have thought to ask her about that.
The opening minutes of this scene contain the usual Loser gems, like him asking her to take off her clothes by saying, “Let’s take a look at what we’re working with here,” as if Ashley were a tool he just bought from Home Depot. Stuff like that makes us realize the real reason the Loser tried to become a porn director: It’s the only way he’ll ever get laid.
The Loser manages to fuck Ashley in a variety of positions. He cums on her face. The Loser has his scene. Ashley goes off to fame, fortune and college. Everybody wins, especially the Loser, who goes to bed that night thinking he has a big cock.
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It’s easy to make fun of the Loser. He’s an easy target. He asks the girls stupid questions. He can’t keep his hand-held camera steady. His camera is always straying and picking up things we’re not supposed to see, like other cameras, photography lights and clothes lying on the floor. Sometimes he has a hard time getting it up. His skin is pink. When a chick is riding him, he sticks his legs out like a corpse. He doesn’t make much noise. He handles the girls as if they’re sacks of groceries.
But the Loser deserves a lot of credit, too. For one, he has the guts to live out a fantasy that millions of us have had. Second, he always gets it up eventually. He usually fucks the girls pretty good. And he cums on their faces. So what if his technical proficiency is a little lacking. Okay, a lot lacking. But he’s fucking chicks on camera. Hot chicks. And a part of us wishes we were him.
This scene, starring Hailey, a 22-year-old from Florida, features the Loser at his best, which means he manages to keep himself out of trouble. He doesn’t say much. The shaky camera work is at a minimum. There’s no pre-fuck interview. The focus is almost always on the girl, which is as it should be.
Hailey has long, dirty-blonde hair and a great ass. She measures 34-24-33 and checks in at 5′6″, 102 pounds. She sucks cock down to the balls and enjoys it. She rides the Loser’s cock, hard. He fucks her doggie style and she moans, “Oh, fuck me harder.” A train can be heard in the background. “Yeah, fuck me harder,” she says.
And, since we’re saying good things about the Loser, here’s another: He manages to pull off his most difficult fucking position ever as he slams Hailey in the piledriver position. She spreads her legs wider, clearly loving it.
It just goes to show you: Even losers have their day.
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